Never Fire on a Full Stomach by Ella Kimbrel
You know that Thanksgiving full feeling you get after eating Thanksgiving dinner? And maybe other times too when you have eaten too much? We can get that same feeling when working with an employee who is not meeting expectations. Maybe that employee’s work is subpar or maybe there are attendance issues. Whatever the challenges are, if we do not work through them in the moment, we can get too full of the situation and decide to fire someone because we have just had enough! In these moments, it is hard to give grace.
A long time ago in a land far away, I sat in a termination meeting where the manager was Thanksgiving full of the employee’s poor performance and ugly attitude. That separation meeting did not go well at all. The employee became angry and defensive. She yelled at her manager, and her manager yelled back. When it was over, I helped the employee pack up her belongings and take them to her car. When I circled back to the manager, she was still angry, but she was also regretful that she allowed her emotions to get the best of her. My friends, that is what happens when we do not address performance or attitude issues along the way. That manager should have never allowed her emotions to take over during a termination meeting. She learned that valuable lesson the hard way.
Another time, a manager came to me and said, “Ella, I think it is time to let an employee go.” She was not angry with this employee. She was not Thanksgiving full yet, but she wanted to go ahead and handle the termination within the 90-day probationary period so as not to prolong the inevitable. She invited me to sit in the termination meeting with her and the employee. As she proceeded to tell the employee that things were not working out, the employee began to wilt right in front of us. Typically, when being fired, I see employees puff up and become resentful, prideful, and angry. But this employee did not.
In fact, this employee said, “I’m sorry. I know I have let you down and I have struggled. I want to do better. I will go to a class or ten classes. I will do whatever you ask, but please do not fire me. I want to be here, and I want this job. Just tell me exactly what you want me to do, and I will do it.” Those words shocked us. Then they amazed us. The manager said, “Wow! No one has ever asked that of me before.” Then she looked at me and said, “Can we do that? Can we not move ahead with the termination and extend the probation? Can we give this employee a second chance?” With management approval’s approval, that is exactly what we did! Ten years later, this employee would retire…successfully and happily. While he did not change overnight, the change did come, and it happened with his manager’s support and involvement. This manager did not wait until she was Thanksgiving full of the employee’s inadequacies. Did she do a good job communicating her expectations with the employee up front? That is hard to answer. The fact that the employee said, “I know I have let you down” indicated he knew he was not meeting expectations of some kind. What is most important, though, is that both the manager AND the employee got a second chance. They both won.
I have remembered these two stories throughout my career because of the lessons I learned in those crucial moments. So many times, we hold the lives of our people in our hands with the decision to hire and fire. It can be a heavy load to carry for the Christian HR professional because often the ultimate decision to hire and fire is not ours to make. We may influence a decision or the decision maker, and then we must let it go.
The saying goes hire slow and fire fast. I agree with this practice as long as the fast fire follows frequent and regular feedback of job performance. If you are the Christian HR professional reading this today, please be encouraged to walk alongside your managers and check in with them on a regular basis. Be proactive instead of reactive. Do not wait for them to call you with a problem. Talk to them about the employees on their teams who might not be meeting expectations. Help your managers realize that uncommunicated expectations will never be met. Show them that letting employees know where they are falling short is a good thing and a wonderfully supportive way of adding value and investing in the lives of their people….and it helps us to avoid that “too full” feeling. Honesty with one another builds integrity and loyalty in relationships.
2 Corinthians 5:14 – 15 says, “For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And He died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died for them and was raised again.” The manager who wants to fire on a full stomach, the employee who is about to be fired, the families of each impacted by a bad situation – I am compelled to love. This inspires me to serve better and to serve more…to get ahead of a bad termination by reaching out to managers and communicating on a regular basis….to coach and mentor through tough times…and to extend grace and love at all times.