I Was Not Invited by Andrea Williams
Many won’t believe when I say that I am an introvert. I speak in front of leaders without getting too nervous, I was the President of my local HR Association and I like to always be on the go. However, my nature is introverted. I don’t feel like I am good at engaging in conversations, and sometimes I wait to be asked to do something or join something. After major events I need to refuel on my own with quiet time. I share this to let you know it is difficult for me to join a group. I think I won’t fit in; they don’t want me; I won’t know what to say. THEY WILL NEVER INVITE ME. I bet there are extroverts that feel this same way. They are better at going to the gatherings and not knowing anyone however they still have the fear of asking, of rejection.
This fear gets in the way of being involved, of networking, of advancing your career. Networking on its own is a scary word. People think you need to pass out 10 business cards a day. Add 20 people to your LinkedIn account. Make more and more contacts. I have found that networking works best when you are making relationships. I went through a very rough time when my position was eliminated. It was the relationships through my HR group, through my past employments, through my bible study groups that kept me positive and that became my network as I searched for a new job.
Building these relationships requires us to act. You may think that God will open the door so you can wait. You attend the HR meeting and you wait for someone to approach you to help. You attend church and you hear a story about a Small Group leader approaching a family to join his group, so you decide to wait for an invitation. God will open the door and has opened amazing doors in my life! But I feel that you need to knock, you need to take a chance and be brave. Matthew 7:7-8 states “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knock, the door will be opened.”
My path to being President of our local HR association was a unique one. I met Ella during an HR meeting and thought I would like to get to know her more. A year passed and she was President. I think I sent an email to her saying I would like to volunteer. I was too afraid to just pick up the phone. We talked and she had a Board Director position and that would be a good place to start. She invited me to attend the Christmas party the month before I joined the board. At the party I didn’t know anyone!! I didn’t talk to anyone and I thought – oh my goodness what have I done? But I went to my first meeting and got to know the board better. Each month the relationships grew. An opening came up mid term for the VP of Administration, I volunteered to do that. Then we realized as a board we would need to fill the Presidency for the next year. I was actually excited for the opportunity even thought I did not feel “ready.” But I said, “Send me!”
In Isaiah chapter 6:8 (Message translation) it states “And then I heard the voice of the Master: ’Whom shall I send? Who will go for us?’ I spoke up, ‘I’ll go. Send me!’” Isaiah began his ministry by speaking up. The bible also states he felt unworthy and he cried out to God. God prepared him for the ministry, and He can prepare you too.
Are you still not on the guest list? You have not been invited yet? You know what you need to do. If you would like to be involved in your local HR group reach out to a board member and let them know. The groups are busy, they struggle to do everything with a few volunteers. They also think most people don’t want to be involved. So, one side thinks they don’t want me to join, and the other side thinks they don’t want to join. Crazy right?!
This is where you need to be brave. Introduce yourself, say hello to the leader of the group, send an email. What is the worst that can happen? They will say no thank you. That isn’t the worst. The worst is to never know if you would have gotten that role. “No decision is a decision.” If you never ask you will never know. I am now the Past President of the group and the Director of Foundation for HR Florida, the entire state!! I sometimes feel like I don’t know what I am doing, but I am learning. I don’t know the State board very well…yet. But I knocked on the door. I said, “Send Me.”
Time to start knocking……….