When I Don't Get It Right by Ella Kimbrel
Have you ever experienced a time in your life when you wish you could re-do or undo a situation where you didn’t get it right? I know I have. Sometimes those situations have a lingering effect, and it can take me a while to move past it. It’s like a bad dream that I can’t shake off.
Early in my career, I made a derogatory remark to a co-worker about our boss. My co-worker shared my comment with our boss, and we were both confronted by her about it. Our boss was so gracious. She said, “I understand that you are going to be upset with me sometimes. That’s okay. I only ask that you come directly to me with your concerns.” Wow! She extended such grace to me in that moment. I didn’t get it right, but she gently redirected me and gave me another chance. I still remember how I felt during that whole mess because of all the emotions I experienced, but more importantly because of the grace freely given to me. When I think about it now, I wish I could undo it, but I can’t, so I continue to learn from that experience when I revisit it.
About 15 years ago I was interviewing a candidate, I’ll call her Lucy, for a payroll position. During the course of the interview, Lucy shared that she had been fired from her last job. When I asked why she had been fired, she said, “I was accused of stealing, but I didn’t do it.” Lucy hadn’t worked in over a year after that job, and I said to her, “So what have you been doing all this time? Chillin’ like a villain?” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew I had said the wrong thing. I definitely didn’t get it right in that interview. Thankfully, Lucy completely missed my blunder and said, “Yeah, pretty much.” I felt so bad for what I said, and although the words didn’t appear to phase Lucy one bit, that experience has served as a valuable lesson for me.
About two years ago, I invited a friend to lunch. We had worked together as a team for many years, but she had moved on to another company. We had been staying in touch meeting every so often for lunch, so I didn’t think my invitation was unusual. What was unusual, however, was the lack of response from my friend. I thought that maybe she was just busy, and so I texted her again a while later. She still didn’t respond, but I learned that she was meeting others for lunch, just not me. I couldn’t figure it out. I thought we were friends. I was curious, so I sent another text asking what was going on. My friend replied with something like, “I just need some space.” Space from me? I couldn’t imagine what I had done, but it was clear that I had done something. We never did have that lunch. We’ve exchanged a few texts since then, but things are different now. The struggle for me is that I know I must have hurt her somehow. Somewhere along the way, I didn’t get it right with her, but I have no idea what I did or didn’t do to cause her to need space from me. I’ve not been given an opportunity to make things right. I might never, and I’m still working on accepting that. And I still miss her.
The way I see it is like this: When I don’t get things right, I can learn from the experience and choose to be better OR I can beat myself up and become bitter. I like Option A and strive to be better, but I still have to fight the tendency to lean towards Option B with all its bitterness. I want to feel sorry for myself and continue to try to fix things, but there are just some things that can’t be fixed. Some things take two people to fix, and if one isn’t willing, then there is no fixing. We have to accept that and press on.
In the Old Testament of the Bible, we read the story of David and all that he did. He got some really good things right like killing Goliath the giant. But there are some things he didn’t get right like his relationship with Bathsheba. Yet God called David a man after his own heart (Acts 22). In the New Testament we read of Peter not getting it right when he denies THREE times that he doesn’t know who Jesus is (Matthew 26-75). Jesus knew that Peter would betray Him in the end and still He asked Peter to be his disciple and fish for men (Luke 5). And in Acts 9, we read about Saul and his conversion to Paul. Saul spent years persecuting Christians until his conversation to Paul, but we know that Paul became one of the most inspirational disciples of Christ, teaching and leading many to the Lord.
It encourages me to know that I am not alone in my struggle to get things right. I have learned, and continue to learn, that I won’t always get it right. I’m going to make mistakes. Boy, do those mistakes keep me humble! The key for me though is this: I don’t dwell on my mistakes for very long. I analyze them though, and I try to learn from them. Does it keep me from making the same mistake twice? I wish! Sometimes I have to learn things more than once, but I do eventually catch on.
As you move through your mistakes, the times when you don’t get it right, remember and be encouraged that you are not alone. Ever. Learn from your mistakes. Talk about them and share them with others. Some of our mistakes are funny, right? Others not so much, but we can learn from all of them, if we’ll humble ourselves to do it.
I hope you found some encouragement in today’s blog post. God used David, Peter and Paul in spite of their mistakes. He has used me too in spite of me being me! Please be encouraged to live life abundantly today and every day whether you make mistakes or not. God can (and will) use you if you are willing…even when you don’t get it right.