Legacy of Love
I am not a great singer. In fact, some might wish that I not even try. But I do because I love to sing. About 10 years ago, I asked our then Worship Pastor, Jeff Fowler, if I could joint the church’s Worship Team. He suggested I come to a Thursday night practice and said we’d go from there. I showed up scared to death as we were still new to the church. However, my love of singing for Jesus was greater than my fear that day. Jeff invited me to the stage and, thankfully, the song set for practice included all songs that I knew. I’m not soloist but I do enjoy singing harmony, and for that song set, I knew those harmony parts well. Apparently, I did okay because he asked me to join the worship team on Sunday.
I have always struggled with insecurity especially in the vocal talent area. One day I was expressing disappointment in my lack of talent and how I wanted every note to be perfect. I said to Jeff, “I don’t want my off-key notes to distract from worship.” Jeff said, “Ella, what’s in our hearts is more important than talent. A heart full of worship is always better than hitting every note perfectly.” Jeff just had a way of putting things into perspective. But that’s how he was with everyone. Jeff had a gift of making all of us feel like we were special. He loved so well.
Jeff passed away a few weeks ago. The church was full of love for Jeff and his family. It wasn’t a funeral but a true celebration of life. We celebrated Jeff’s life and legacy with a full-on worship service! It was beautiful and wonderful and hard, but we sang and worshiped together knowing that we will see Jeff again one day.
Funerals, or celebration of life events, cause me to consider the life of the one lost as well as the life of the family impacted by that loss. These times convict me about my life and what I’m doing with the days that God has given me and continues to give me. Every funeral or celebration of life I attend makes me pause and ask myself: Am I choosing to love? At the end of one’s life, we talk about happy memories and times shared. Old hurts don’t matter because we focus on the best memories while we mourn for the ones we’ve lost. I want to be remembered for the good things I’ve done, and hopefully how I’ve loved. But as I’ve shared in other posts, I don’t always get it right.
In my personal life, my family sees the real me – especially my husband and our two daughters - yet they still love me. What a blessing! I strive to be a loving and supportive wife and mother. I don’t always make it. One evening, when our girls were around ages 5 and 9, they got into a fight as sisters will do. My husband had been out of town for about 4 weeks, and I was doing okay juggling everything without him – or so I thought - until that night. Let’s just say that I didn’t handle the sister fight very well, and the girls have since dubbed me Hurricane Mom. I behaved so poorly and felt so guilty about it that I made them cheese sticks and cookies (their favorites) at 10 o'clock at night after things settled down. I asked for their forgiveness and prayed with them and in my prayer, I asked God to forgive me. My girls learned that I wasn’t perfect (sadly), and hopefully, they learned that it’s okay for moms to make mistakes and ask for forgiveness from God AND their children. Still today, at ages 16 and 20, they talk about that memory. We laugh together and have fun with it now, but in my heart, I still regret my actions that night. It ended well, and all was forgiven, but not forgotten.
In my professional life, only a few see the real me because like most professionals, I’m typically on my best behavior at work. However, I often consider the people with whom I work and how I might leave a lasting impression of Jesus with them. I want to be Jesus to them. I want to be kind, patient, compassionate, forgiving. Occasionally, I get it right. But over the years, as I’ve worked with people I didn’t like, I know I haven’t always gotten it right. There have been times when I have asked God to help me love when I could not love by myself, and God has honored those prayers.
A long time ago, there was a lady I worked with who I’ll call Karen. Karen and I did NOT get along. I found her to be critical and rude. She rarely had anything positive to say about anything HR did for the employees in the company. From benefits to employee events, she complained about everything. One day, I ordered pizza for the office. I had forgotten to order salad. Karen was always on a diet and would want salad. I knew that and meant to make sure I had it for her because I didn’t want to hear her complain. Again. When I realized the salad had been forgotten, I ran out to Publix with the goal of getting back to the office WITH SALAD before the pizza arrived. I didn’t make it. The pizza was in the breakroom, and everyone was enjoying it - except Karen. As I walked into the kitchen with my hands full of salad and all the trimmings, I heard Karen loudly and sarcastically voicing her opinion about the lunch, about HR, and about the company as a whole. I threw the salad on the counter and said some choice words. When I was done responding to her critique, I stormed out of the breakroom leaving her with her mouth hanging open and everyone else in shock. I was the nice one, the quiet one. I always kept my temper in check. But that day, well, that day, I had had it! Not my best moment.
After a few days, I asked God to forgive my hateful feelings and change my heart towards Karen. About a month or so after the salad fiasco, I needed some help with a project and Karen was the only one available. I found myself being nice to her– like naturally nice without trying, and it wasn’t hard. That’s when I recognized that God was working in me (and still is thankfully). I’ve learned that I love best with God’s love and His help. While Karen and I were never best friends, we came to respect one another and never had another negative interaction.
I often say that I don’t to be known as an HR professional masquerading as a Christian. I’d rather be known as a Christian who happens to work as an HR professional. Every day is an opportunity to love and show God’s love. I forget that as I get lost in the rigor of routine at home and at work. I hope that at my celebration of life event, I will be remembered for my love for Jesus…for how I loved and served my family and others. Every day that I’m on this old earth is an opportunity to choose a legacy of love. We are called to love. Jesus said, A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (John 13:34-35). As you move about your day today, I hope you’ll be encouraged to live life abundantly as you choose to live a legacy of love.